Thursday, March 19, 2009

Unwed Mothers

I was shocked to learn from reading the Startribune newspaper today, the birth rate in 2007 was higher than the baby boomers era (1950s). . A big portion of those the births were contributed from the lowest number of abortions in decades because unmarried mothers have been more socially acceptable, Palin's daughter for example. 40% of the births in 2007 were from unmarried mothers. I don't mean to judge them, my point is let's face it, we have a crisis. Looking forward, what can we do as parents to stop this trend ? I have 3 girls and I don't want them to be unmarried mothers one day either. I have a strong reason to be concerned.

Often times people could easily blame on parents for their children misbehavior or misconduct. On the other hand, often times parents get too much credit for the success of their children. There is only so much parents can do and we cross our fingers and pray for the future of our children. Having said that I think there is a fine line between being perceived as good parents and seeking the best interest for our children.

Every parent loves to brag about their children. The question is on the motive. Do we raise our children so that we can claim credits when brag about our children ? It is whether the focus is on our children or on ourselves (parents). For example, parents could spoil their children with luxuries with the purpose of they don't have to deal with their children, and others may see them as great parents by providing so much for their children. In this case it's about self interest instead of the best interest of the children.

Now going back to the article in the newspaper, an unmarried mother said the option of getting married is not possible while she still keeps her relationship with two men who father her children. Some of them simply do not want to deal with relationship, some for career reason, and some for financial reason (tax, welfare) for examples. If those are the reasons, I would think it's a selfish reason (not the best interest of their children). And yes I admit there are many single moms who do not have a choice. But for those who have an inexcusable choice, consider it wisely. A study shows children grew up with single moms are twice less likely religious. 80% of inmates grew up with single moms. I hope at least the numbers speak for themselves.

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